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[personal profile] ssomna
I am lost, I am wandering,
in the hollows, in the shadows, in the darkness and the yearning,
in the maze of twisty passages of my mind.

I am pretty sure I followed you,
running ahead so you wouldn't see
how much I didn't know the way.

At your church the minister talked about happiness,
his uplift casting me into despairing that I had lost
the trick.

Happiness is a trick like falling, like flying.
When your joy is not despite or because of life,
but just is.

Love is a trick like happiness,
like raising your arms at the top of the roller coaster,
you have to unfasten what is bound.

Open the doors.
I need nothing,
and I hover in the miracle that you have not gone.

The trick of flying is another kind of trust:
when I forget to fear,
sometimes I miss the ground.

So I walk, barefoot and trusting, through the labyrinth,
my eyes closed to the darkness,
my lips hungry for rock-flavored water-drips,

until I have no hunger, no thirst.
Joy will learn to do without.
Joy will look around one day and find it forgot to need.

Joy puts this shaky future in your hands
as if it is whole.
Joy runs ahead, to follow you.

The trick of love is not to lose it.
The trick of keeping it is letting it go.
The trick of joy is forgetting to wrap your mind around it.

When everything flows, it's easy to dance blind.
The hard part is calculating out every step,
putting painstaking planning and care into this futile living.

But it's only when you stop clinging that you can breathe,
when you stop planning that you start living.
You can only discover your dreams by living them.

And if I could remember the trick of letting everything
I would have everything again.


ssomna: (Default)

December 2010

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